i'm a newbie!! :eyes:

I found this page!! So good to speak to people in my age group! I have some questions as i have read what other have wrote on the board before i thought i'd post. First off i'm 5days post op!! My partner of 3years, i feel like this surgery is going to break us up! He likes big girls & i don't want to be big! I wanna be young & have heaps of friends & START LIVING! Somewhat hard when i have 2kids i know! but no harm in trying right ! Anyways long story sort, he has another kid & like totally has the ex from hell, & she has harassed me for 3years straight! 4FS's i'm only 24! Anyways she is like soo fugly its not funny! & she still chases him! He has put me threw this for 3years, & i think i should leave his sorry ass & find a man who doesn't have all this baggage! his mum has never got over them spliting up & shows me zero respect & even for the first 2years rang up Nick to pass on messages for his ex, coz i wouldn't let her talk to him (the ex), so his mum would pass on the most stupidest of **** to him. But on the down side we have two kids! 1month old & a 2yo, not a down side really i love them sooo much, just hard to walk away. Will men want me after i lose all this weight? will i find a nice & hopefully rich guy! How do i walk away? silly question. I just wanna hear life is so much fun when you lose the weight what an intro!

first of all congrats on your surgery and welcome!!!! next about your situtation...i just have a few comments about that....if your guy doesn't except you for who you are then maybe you don't need be with him....i know it is hard for you to walk away from him cause he is the father of your children but maybe an arrangement can be made to where he is still in your kids life....just a suggestion....secondly it sounds like you have a lot of drama going on in your life i know it must be hard for you right now being so new post-op if your doc offers any sort of after-care support group meetings i would suggest trying to attend a few of those casue it sounds like you need a lot of support right now in order to make this surgery successful...i know that without all the support that i have gotten from family, friends, co-wworkers, OH....etc....i would not have been able to make it through this process...so please try to surround yourself with support it will help you out so much...as far as life being more fun since losing weight for me it is...lol...i go out more i work out have fun and i've actually started dating...i'm doing things that i would have never done pre-op but everyone's experience is different so just be sure that you did this for yourself and no one else and be happy with your decison and start loving yourself. 

Welcome and CONGRATS on the beginning of your new, healthy life!!! Focus on healing and getting healthy and doing whatever it takes to prolong the quality of life you are working towards....drama and stress and chaos needs to take a back seat to your health!!! Good luck to you! xxxBecca

Welcome to the group. Seems to me you already made up your mind about your current relationship. Sure the guy likes big girls... but he should like you for you - if he wouldnt want to be with you cause you are no longer big, kick him to the curb... sounds like he has insecurity/jealously issues if he only can handle being with big girls.  Will men want you after you lose weight? Honey men already want you.... so yeah they still will - its just a matter of you choosing who to be with. Nice guy... sure, rich guy - make sure he has a brother and send him my way :P Life is what you make of it... life can be fun as a big girl.... life can be fun as a small girl - it all depends on what you do with your life. It is definately easier to do things when you are smaller... you will also gain more condifence and be more outgoing (at least for most of us!) which should put you out there to have more fun. I honestly wouldnt say my life is completely different that it was before... its just more normal now - I feel like a more normal person and certain worries/concerns I use to have when I was obese (like fitting in a chair) I have no more... it allows me to relax more so I enjoy myself better as well as put myself out there more to try new things.

ok this is totally just my opinion and dont get angry at anything i say. first of all you knew your hubby had a child before you got with him, before you decided to have kids with him. you knew this and still accepted it. you knew that she was an ex from hell, however you still decided to have not one but 2 kids with this man. I can personally tell you that i know how hard it is to have a child from a previous relationship. (my hubby has one too) also i am not sure if its a typo or not but you said you had a 1 month old, so how bad could have been just 10 months ago, when you were concieving another child, even if it wasnt planned you were still have sex! another note you knows he likes big girls, but you know what if he loves you then he will probably will continue to love you as you get smaller, and start loving yourself even more. you will be happier and healthier and more pleasent to be around. also have you ever thought that maybe he likes big girls because thats the only girls that he gets attention from. also you said that if you left him that you would find a man without baggage, well you now have baggage, i think woman are more easy to accept a man having a previous child than a man is. i am not tryinng to sound mean at all, but just wanted to put my opnion. also watch out from ppd. good luck on your weight loss.

well **** on me, i knew there was some connection with being blonde Yeh it was a bit mean what you said, but i have been threw allot of **** in my life & what you said, well doesn't bother me much at all, & what ppl type on any forum, will be judged, i get that.... so thanks for your opinion. i certainly won't be taking it to heart!

Hmmm what to say about the BF. Ditch him if he has that much baggage and refuses to get rid of it. You don't need that garbage in your life....and honestly nor do your children. He may be the father but to me sounds like he needs to grow up and move on and act like a real man. But that is your decision. But I don't know how to tell you to walk away, that is your decision no one elses. As for men wanting you. OH yes, and it just gets better with every pound ya loose. No joke. Its like you go from bottom of the barrel to whatever you want. I know I only was with one guy who was into bigger girls...not sure ever why I did go out with him. Ill be honest the big is beautiful crowd drives me up a wall. Obviously my brain and bosy never matched as you can tell, lol. Anways I look at it now, recently split with someone I was seeing, just far to many issues in his life right now. Great guy really he is and I will get back with him if his life calms and he wants to...if not we are friends. But had a friend that was beggin me for some time to meet up with him, well I finally did. And he totally has a thing for me. And I must admit besides being an absolutly great guy, Im attracted to him by all get out. The man is a body builder...not to the extreme but natural...so no steroid **** Never did I think a guy that hot would want and I mean want to be around me, in the way he does. Its how can ya say hard to believe at times....I still don't but oh well. Im enjoying every minute of it. So dont you worry about not thinking someone wont want you, just dont limit yourself to early out. I know im glad I didnt.